BOOK REVIEW: The Stone Angel, by Margaret Laurence

"The most unbelievably awful book ever written -- THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"

Poor Canadian kids in the PRISONS otherwise known as ALBERTA PUBLIC SCHOOLS. They are forced to read this book. Pardon my language, but giving the title of "shittiest fucking book ever" to The Stone Angel is not a stretch. I have read some truly bad novels in my time, but The Stone Angel is simply horrifying. Never has there been a more repulsive protagonist than Hagar, a neurotic, arrogant, despicable old woman. The book is told in a series of intermittent flashbacks that seem pointless in conjunction with Hagar's current situation (which is that her family wants to put her in a nursing home). Hell, she is so miserable and and disgusting that instead of a nursing home, they should put her in a barn.

At first I was mildly interested by the florid writing style, but the book soon made me numb (it actually caused me physical pain). The reason for this is that the Hagar of The Stone Angel's story is the most repulsive fictional creation I've ever beheld. Hagar's bloated idiocy renders her ineffably repellent after just a few chapters. Vivid descriptions of her rotting bowels spewing putrid gas is just nasty. Yet most chapters put forth considerable description of her nasty flatulence. Yuck. Being 90 years old, her thoughts and dialogue are completely separated from reason, destroying any interest a person could have in the progress of the story. Her flashbacks further reinforce her overweening nature. There are no flashbacks of when she was a nice young lady -- she was miserable and arrogant always. I suppose this book has merit if you wish to enter the mind of a 90-year old arrogant woman whose logical faculties have been shattered, but who really wants to read about that? I mean, subject is not inherently uninteresting, but this character is just gross. Sure it's realistic (for which some reviews have credited it), but why on earth does anyone care about a cantankerous old hag with bowel problems? Talk about the ultimate anti-hero!

By the end of the novel, Hagar recognizes that she is a loathsome human being and attempts to reconcile that fact with herself. However, all throughout the book, there is no indication that this realization is flowering. All of a sudden, it just occurs spontaneously. Such a hackneyed literary attempt at character revelation. This is both incredibly unrealistic and incredibly disappointing for a reader who has put up with the dross of this novel for 250 pages (give or take). Apparently Laurence realized that her character was beyond hope so she endeavored to hammer in an epiphany that could justify her tedious banter that protracted the horrible, horrible book.

Some will surely argue that the book deserves stars for style and canny art sensibility. I disagree. Stylistic merit is only a virtue when anchored by a story and characters that don't sicken the person reading the book. This book belongs in the garbage and all remaining copies should be rounded up and destroyed. This book proves the necessity of abolishing public schools. The damage done to children's minds by forcing them to read about a farting old hag is just too great to ignore.