MUSIC REVIEW: Yes - Relayer

"Perplexing, daring, awesome prog."

Yes continued to ride upon their surging undulation of progressive ambition with Relayer, the most experimental of the band's disparate catalogue. As a fan who enjoyed the subtle beauty of Tales From Topographic Oceans, I initially found Relayer's abstruse music opaque and puzzling, in a sense that I couldn't 'get' the songs. After awhile, though, things began to click, and I now find Relayer to be one of the most interesting of all progressive rock albums.

The side long track here is the phenomenal "The Gates of Delirium," which is perhaps progressive rock's most evocative composition. It goes beyond the above any traditional approach to rock in a sense that it - for the most part - forsakes melody and "ROCKING" to generate vivid images and tell a (generalized) story. Innovative in its use of instruments, the song summons forth images of battle: the cacophony of clashing steel, cries of distress, the razing of buildings, et cetera. The percussive assault of Alan White's drums is astonishing, serving as the fundament for the dense tapestry of sounds that invokes the lucid image of war. It's quite amazing; close your eyes and let yourself become inundated in the intricate weaves of instrumental violence. When the dissonance comes to an end, a quiet, ethereal passage concludes the song. Here, Jon Anderson's delicate vocals soar with an ineffable heavenly quality that gives me shivers. Many know this last part because it was made into a single-edit, but believe me, it loses its punch when not preceded by the lengthy span of chaos.

The weird "Sound Chaser" follows. Here, new keyboardist Patrick Moraz's jazz influence is very evident, and Squire's adroit bass and White's meticulous drumming tear through the mix. This song, too, often trifles with dissonance, but with a different effect. This song is peppy and almost fun, and the vocals are catchy and almost evoke Yes Album melodies. Howe's solo is dangerously close to jarring with that grating pitch, but otherwise this is a neat song.

The album finishes with the soothing piece "To Be Over," a quiet aria that can lull me to sleep. Not because the song is boring, not at all. The vocal melodies are radiant, and the arrangements engaging. But the song is so peaceful and gives me a profound sense of mental solace. This song makes me feel like I'm floating...ahhh...

Since Relayer is something of an acquired taste, I think it takes at least five listens to understand the music. Then it probably takes at least a dozen listens to begin appreciating the depth of each composition. It's an involved piece of work, but well worth the effort to make it "stick."

MUSIC REVIEW: Dream Theater - Metropolis 2000, Scenes from New York (DVD)

"Astonishing live prog metal."

Dream Theater's concept album Scenes From A Memory is jaw-dropping on CD, but one gains a whole new level of appreciation for the work when one sees it performed. I mean, Dream Theater plays some really complex stuff here, and it's awesome to watch. "The Dance of Eternity" is insane, and the instrumental section of "Beyond this Life" has some really tough harmonization and unison lines. John Myung's dexterous bass playing is especially incredible to see because it's sometimes difficult to hear him in the mix on the CD. Jordan Rudess is truly a god among keyboardists, and I don't doubt that in a few years we'll regard him with the same deference as legends like Rick Wakeman and Keith Emerson. It's almost uncanny how easily he plays everything. What's also interesting about him is that he doesn't use racks of keyboards; he controls everything from just one, and switches between sounds with a pedal. Very cool. For much of the show, I just sat there with my jaw constantly hitting the floor thinking, "How the freakin' heck do they do that?"

The band puts on an incredible show. The band usually has a sort of calm stage presence, but here they're gushing energy. LaBrie's vocals never miss their mark, and in some ways his performance is better here than on the CD. I hadn't realized he had this much live power (let's not forget that he's an operatically trained vocalist, too). The band recreates SFAM's story using images on the big screens, which is good for those who didn't quite grasp the plot. (I understood the story, but it was nice to finally see what the breaking glass was on "Finally Free.") The band also brings in the hypnotherapist, the gospel choir for "The Spirit Carries On," and Theresa Thomason to sing Victoria's lines on that same song. Here, they've essentially recreated the album better than I could have imagined.

The bonus material is great. Personally, I found the "Making Of" section very interesting, and the band's audio commentary for the concert is really quite funny. The "Deleted Scenes" are a dream come true. I never expected to see the band perform "A Mind Beside Itself" in its entirety, and the electric version of "The Silent Man" is an intense extension of the original song. "Learning to Live" is a great anthemic song, even better here because of LaBrie's vocal improvisation during Petrucci's heroic guitar solo (the one right after LaBrie's hits that high F). And the best of all... "A Change of Seasons" as an encore, with some fun embellishments during "IV. The Darkest of Winters.

What I'm getting at is...this DVD is incredible. If you're a DT fan, you absolutely need this.

MUSIC REVIEW: Rush - Caress of Steel

"Lack of focus can't undermine quality of material."

Although this is one of Rush's most unfocused records, I've always really liked it. I guess the band hadn't quite cohered entirely at this point, and it's a bit weird to have one song about heroes fighting against an evil wizard and another song about getting old and losing your hair.

The side-long epic "The Fountain of Lamneth" shows that the band hadn't quite mastered the long format. For one, the song FEELS long (and it is, at twenty minutes), whereas later Rush epics seem to zip by. Still, it's got the requisite thematic integration, soft moments, loud rocking moments, and a catchy chorus during "Baccus Plateau". It's a favorite.

"The Necromancer" is basically three separate songs tied together by a little story about an evil sorceror and those who fight him. The narrator is hilarious because his emotion and pacing his so awful, but I wouldn't have it any other way. The song finishes with an triumphantly uplifting riff (the necromancer has been defeated!) that makes me want to raise my fist into the air.

The rest of the album is pretty ok. There is the laughably bad, ultra-generic "I Think I'm Going Bald," but "Bastille Day" is a solid rocker and "Lakeside Park" is mellow and catchy. The album is really worth it for the two long songs. It's easy to forget this one (it was the precursor to 2112, after all), but it's underrated and deserves recognition.

MUSIC REVIEW: Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes

"Beautiful in so many ways."

Perhaps it's redundant to add yet another flattering review to what is already a chorus of praise. Still, I'm suddenly inspired to write as I listen to this CD and yet again marvel at how truly excellent it is. The emotional layers of her songs are not as furtive as later releases, which is one distinctive merit relative to its peers in her catalogue. There has been no other CD I've ever owned with such unadulterated emotional clarity, although other Tori albums come close. She is an artist of remarkable honesty and beauty.

Here, Tori rocks with her piano, and she also writes gorgeous ballads the likes of which are unattainable to lesser artists. She is complemented by lovely orchestrations and lyrics that tantalize with their complex imagery. Certainly one of the best artists of the nineties, and her brilliance puts today's pop puppets to shame. There's something magical about this album. It's too difficult to describe what exactly makes it so good. Just listen to it yourself. If you aren't moved, you'd better check for a pulse.

Some would say that Little Earthquakes is insuperable compared to Tori's other work. I don't feel this way; I think each of her albums offers something different but no less wonderful. And wow, she has a sweet voice, doesn't she?

MUSIC REVIEW: Dream Theater - A Change of Seasons

"Dream Theater's ultimate epic."

I think we can thank the bootleg The Dance of Eternity for this fantastic release. The Dance of Eternity was recorded during the I&W tour, and at that show they played "A Change of Seasons" in its entirety. As the bootleg was distributed, demand grew for an official recording of the band's magnum opus. The band finally conceded and released the song a few years later with some bonus live material.

This 23-minute track encapsulates Dream Theater's greatness. Emotionally powerful, often heavy, sometimes soulful, audacious, and technically challenging music. The production here is very good, perhaps Dream Theater's best studio recording up to that point from that perspective. More importantly, the band understands how the write a captivating epic that never seems boring... in fact, it's so enthralling that you barely realize it's over. Written in seven movements, the seasons parallel an semi-autobiographical story about growing up and coming to terms with mortality. It is very touching at times, especially with the heart-wrenching licks of Petrucci's solo on "V. Another World." The virtuosity also makes an impression, especially the lightning fast solos and unison lines on "IV. The Darkest of Winters." LaBrie's vocals never miss their mark, and he further establishes himself as one of progressive rock/metal's most emotive singer. What you have here is perhaps the best song by progressive metal's greatest band.

The bonus live material is great. It's very cool hearing an Elton John song (of all things) that gets Dream Theater's magic treatment. I'm no Elton John fan, but the cover is good! "Perfect Strangers," (Deep Purple) is a perfectly fitting song for DT to play, while the Led Zeppelin covers and the "Big Medley" are also enjoyable. They had a bunch of room left on the disc, so I'm disappointed that they didn't include more songs from this show. I would have liked to see Metallica's "Damage Inc." and Tori Amos' "Winter" included here, and maybe the excerpts from Yes' "Starship Trooper" and "Siberian Khatru." Ah well...there's always the bootleg...

(Ignore people griping about the covers. Like them or not, it's just bonus material...concentrate on the actual song from which the EP draws its name. It's stupid to judge an album based on bonus material.)

Quite simply, you cannot qualify as a Dream Theater fan until you add this disc to your collection.

MUSIC REVIEW: Iron Maiden - Brave New World

"Iron Maiden's restitution."

It's been years since Iron Maiden has sounded so vibrant and creative. Brave New World is a fine achievement of quintessential heavy metal songwriting; a return to form for one of metal's preeminent bands. Maiden shows considerable growth here, but the energy captured on this record is nearly concordant with their zenith of intensity (I refer to albums like Piece of Mind and Powerslave). This is the album Maiden fans have awaited for years, ever since they began to lose their fervor with No Prayer for the Dying.

So, Blaze Bailey out, Bruce Dickinson in. A good trade, to say the least, but even better with the canny melodic sense and creativity of guitarist Adrian Smith, who also returns. This ups the line-up to three lead guitarists, which might sound excessive, but it's remarkable how well they make it work. The arrangements don't sound cluttered at all, and overall the band handles this approach intuitively. If anything, they should have explored more complex guitar harmonies than they did. The production is stunning and gritty, and succeeds and isolating and preserving the ineffably energy of Iron Maiden's music.

As always, Iron Maiden is defined by the impetus of heavy metal's intensity with a shrewd melodic awareness unique among metal bands. The difference is that the band shows considerable progression here. While there are cuts that just ooze the classic Maiden sound (like "Wicker Man," "The Mercenary," and "Fallen Angel"), while others explore the band's more ambitious tendencies. Shades of these inclinations have often been evident ("Rime of the Ancient Mariner," "Seventh Son of a Seventh Son," "Heaven Can Wait," for instance), but here the band delves into them farther. Behold the Middle Eastern influences of the epic "The Nomad," the mix of quiet and loud passages in "Thin Line Between Love and Hate," and the lush orchestrations of "Blood Brothers." So, while the band retains their classic feel, they also expand on this with rewarding results. Truly, they are one of the most sophisticated heavy metal bands ever. (Steve Harris does enjoy many progressive rock bands, you know.)

My only complaints are that the band sometimes protracted the songs unnecessarily. "Mercenary" and "Fallen Angel" are ok, save for the fact that they are too repetitive. "Dream of Mirrors" is, again, a great song, but it should have been 2 or 3 minutes shorter because a lot of it is needless repetition. I'm left thinking that the band was trying too hard to impress at times.

Still, despite these complaints, I can't deny that this truly is a recovery for Maiden. Good job boys. (Sweet cover art, too!) Now how about another solo album, Bruce?

FILM REVIEW: Irreversible

A tour de force - this movie will change you.

I rarely review movies, I don't have much that's helpful to say about 'em so why bother? But "Irreversible" was so tragic and brutal and emotionally damaging, to write something about it seems to release some of the psychological strain felt after experiencing it. And make no mistake, you do not just watch this movie, but experience it. Gaspar Noe's method, whether his challenging cinematic virtuosity, his unflinching depictions of horrible brutality, the actors' improvised dialogue, et cetera... all of this utterly absorbs the viewer, who becomes a very uncomfortable bystander. Many people have left the movie unfinished, too unpleasant on many levels. this would happen in the first half, in which the violence is so awful and camera techniques are dizzying and esoteric (although it parallels the chaos of the main characters' delirious, frantic search), combined with an omnipresent bass tone that unsettles the nerves even further. To call it a challenging film seems to be an understatement. As a sort of emotional ordeal, Noe's film is one of the most powerful I have seen.

Part of the visceral effect of this film is surely its controversial depictions of graphic violence, in its infamous, horrifying rape scene and murder scene. (there is also the early setting in the underground gay club, which has plenty of nightmarish and nasty images.) It seems to cheapen the movie to bring these two scenes up in such a way like they're "what the movie's all about, yo!" -- and surely many people will come across this movie in the first place by finding it on "top 10 disturbing movies" lists or something where these scenes are invariably described. That said, I can't help but do the same thing, because in all my adult life this is the only movie where I have had to look away when it was just too much. this must be mentioned because the violence is central to the plot and the emotional onslaught (would the beautiful final scenes be so devastating if not for the viewer's knowledge of what happens, and would you even give a damn if the violence represented was just tame and trivial?). Everyone's buttons get pushed different ways of course and that's fine, but it is too easy for others to disparage this movie because of its depictions of terrible violence, but such does not make a movie bad. To attribute this brutality to a lack of morality or sensationalism is very ignorant. The murder scene is not bloody but incredibly cruel and disturbing, rendered in a fluid shot that makes it too close for comfort. When Monica Bellucci is raped and beaten it's even worse, a static shot that looks on and on for what seems like an eternity. As bad as it sounds (and it's much worse to see), this film does not sensationalize violence -- I can think of few movies that are more anti-violence.

The reason for this is the structural device. On paper, this sounds like a standard rape-and-revenge tale if presented linearly. But "Irreversible" is told backwards, starting (ending) from the aftermath of the showdown with the suspected rapist to the elegiac final (beginning) scenes of tenderness and beauty and warmth before everything unravels later in the story. The violence opens the film, rather than concluding it. The title card at the movie's end (story's beginning), "Time destroys all things," is not so much a "deep philosophical point" or anything in my opinion, but a simple summation of why "Irreversible" is so tragic. the way violence begets violence and how certain causal relations gain different meaning is interesting, but the real core of this movie is a poignant, heartbreaking message about the delicacy upon which all the beauty in life can depend. When the dialogue in later scenes `foreshadows' (if that's the right term) horrors not yet experienced by the characters, the unrecognized significance hits the viewer like a sledgehammer. Not very subtle, and pretty manipulative really, but very affecting. Actually, the scene where they make love in their apartment is beautiful but disturbing in its own way... we all understand the hitchcockian idea of suspense where the viewer knows more than the characters - well, this is like anti-suspense because we already know the outcome and it makes the film's last scenes soooo wrenching. It plays out like a memory, moving from the great ugliness of present to the comforting idyll of the past. This too is very sad if you think about it.

Much credit must go to acting. Monica Bellucci, Vincent Cassell, and Albert Dupontel are all very good and realistic, and the dialogue is largely improvised making each scene more genuine and affecting. Bellucci and Cassell were married at the time the movie was made and their intimacy underscores the relationship of their characters and their erotic scenes together are very natural and lovely. (the tunnel scene and its peculiar rapist, however, underscores rape as an act of violence, not sexuality, and Bellucci deserves kudos with her brave portrayal of this traumatizing episode.)

This review is too long already, I have to stop but I feel like I could write a book. I don't know anything about movies anyway. SO. In one sense, it's hard to recommend this movie -- but you can probably say ex ante whether your experience with "Irreversible" will be rewarding (whether you enjoy the film or not). You may stay far away, and you may turn it off during the first 45 minutes, finding it too unbearable. And no doubt, it is deeply upsetting, but I would like to think that most people would be able to "handle" this, and an intelligent viewer should be able to appreciate the violence in context. Therefore in another sense, I highly recommend "Irreversible". It's simply an amazing film. You will not exactly enjoy it, but it will haunt you for days if not weeks or longer, and provoke introspection of which few other films are capable.

LIST: Nine Most Disturbing Films

WARNING: The following article contains some frank discussion regarding the peak of disturbing cinema.


The review for A Serbian Film has gotten a lot of feedback from readers. Many have requested a list of other disturbing films. Of course, making such a list might seem pointless. After all, if you have seen A Serbian Film, there is really nothing as disturbing as that. If you are on a quest to see the "most disturbing film," you've already reached the end of the journey.

Nonetheless, let us assume you want to some disturbing films with some value aside from whether or not they are the "most disturbing ever," since even I can admit that watching movies for that reason alone is kind of crass.

So, after much consideration, I hereby present the following list of the "Most Disturbing Films." Now everyone's idea of "disturbing" is different, and a few criteria have been used here. These fit into the "disturbing violence" category, and are not disturbing for other reasons. For example, the film Kids is disturbing, for reasons other than overt violent content, but a film like that will not appear on this list. Also, the movie must be "good" in addition to being disturbing. There are all too many movies that are just "gross" but they aren't any good, so who cares?


9. CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST

Our first entry in this list is borderline trash. On the surface, it's a rather exploitative and distasteful horror film. On a deeper level... well, it's pretty much the same. Yet it does create a genuine sense of horror that is missing from more polished works. The faux documentary style is very effective and creates a compelling narrative structure.

This film has been banned in numerous countries. One of the reasons is that real animals were killed on film. Not being a believer in animal rights at all, I am not hugely concerned by the fact that they killed animals on film and then ate them. Although it is certainly gross when they cut apart the turtle and eat it.

Instead, the main boost to the disturb-o-meter is that there are many scenes of legendary graphic horror -- there is a disturbing abortion ritual, a rape committed with some crude implement, the victim of a gruesome impalement, and the chaotic climax where bloodthirsty cannibals converge on the film crew. There is also interesting fact that the "civilized" people are painted as the real monsters for the bulk of the film. They run around razing, raping, and killing with apparent glee. That is more disturbing in some ways than cannibals simply eating people.


8. CUTTING MOMENTS





This shocking short film is a nightmarish parody of suburban life. It's not entirely clear to me what the meaning of this film is, but it scarred me deeply nonetheless. It depicts a dysfunctional family where the mother seems distraught by a lack of family communication and profound lack of affection from her husband. It is not explicitly stated, but it is implied that the husband has a sick interest in his son. Somehow, this evolves into a situation where the wife feels the only way to provoke her husband's lust is to mutilate herself, which, strangely, seems to work. It culminates in graphic mutilation during sex, leaving you with a shocking image you won't soon forget. If this movie doesn't make you cringe, you are way too jaded.


7. I STAND ALONE

Gaspar Noe is an outlaw director. His films provoke powerful responses, both positive and negative. Of the two films of his that appear on this list, I Stand Alone is the inferior of the two. Arguably, however, it is higher on the disturb-o-meter. Maybe. The amount of violence in this film is pretty low. However, the acts of violence themselves are extreme. The protagonist beats his pregnant girlfriend, punching her repeatedly in the abdomen while declaring, "Your baby's hamburger meat now!" He later envisions a sick violent fantasy in which he murders his disabled daughter to "protect her" or some such nonsense. All this is bad enough, but the reason this is really offensive is just because the main character is quite possibly the most awful person I have ever seen on film. He hates everything -- his life, his job, his girlfriend, and really all the people around him. He blames everyone else for his misery, but he lacks the maturity to recognize that he is responsible for his own failures. The film is largely narrated by this guy, who you have to follow along with the supremely spiteful But wait! Even this man, so consumed with loathing for self and others, manages to show love and tenderness at the end -- albeit not in a way that people should be showing their love. So might we venture to say that this film has a 'happy' ending? Well, that might be too much of a stretch...

6. ANTICHRIST

Much has been said about the graphic sex and violence in Antichrist. It is certainly disturbing in a profound way (especially for a dude) when a man's testicles are smashed with a block of wood, and has a hole drilled through his leg. Likewise, it is extra nasty when a woman jerks off her tortured husband and makes him ejaculate blood.But the disturbing-factor with Antichrist goes much deeper than graphic depictions of physical abuse. The "therapy" that the husband provides to his wife before things turn violent but there is the "therapy" the husband provides to his wife, which seems to be a form of subtle emotional abuse. Although they have lost their son to a tragic accident, he seems to imply she is wrong to be traumatized. In the twisted Bizarro world of Antichrist, the one spouse torments the other with rationalizations and psychobabble rather than provide emotional support for the death of a child.

5. MEN BEHIND THE SUN



Supposedly based on the true story of a Japanese prison camp in China during World War II, this film depicts shocking medical experiments. In terms of nasty graphic gruesomeness, this film is hard to beat. There is what appears to be actual autopsy footage, an especially gross scene involving a pressure chamber, and the classic "cat scene" in which hundreds of swarming rats attack a cat. This film is actually pretty decent overall, as it is also an important reminder of the true evil that manifests during war and conquest.

4. SALO, OR THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM

If ever there was a film to make one feel miserable about humanity, this is it! A bunch of fascist assholes round up a group of teens and take them to a castle for several days of diabolic torture and rape. This film is actually not all that graphic and explicitly violent compared to other films on this list. There is mutilation, murder, forced coprophagia, and sexual assaults, but the depictions are not as bad as you might imagine... Still, few movies are more upsetting than Salo. I think this is because it depicts villains so utterly drunk with power that nothing is beyond the pale to them.

3. IRREVERSIBLE




Not only is this movie disturbing, it is amazingly powerful on an emotional level. It is a "rape & revenge" movie told in reverse, so it starts with the revenge and then moves through the events that led up to it. But the "revenge" is not satisfying, and the rape is even more awful when you get to the last scene in the film (the first scene in the story). For a more comprehensive review, see here.


2. HENRY - PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER



This is the best serial killer movie you will ever see. It does not have a lot of graphic violence, although the home invasion scene is truly harrowing. Instead, it is disturbing because it just seems so... realistic? I mean, I don't know any real serial killers, but Henry seems like the real deal. Yes, you could watch the August Underground series for the most gruesome and "shocking" serial killer movies, but those are just disgusting trash. They aren't disturbing in any serious way. Henry is subtly and profoundly disturbing, from the simple way he coldly stalks strangers as potential victims to how he plans to avoid capture to his actual carrying out of murder. The shoe-string budget actually gives more credence to the whole realistic atmosphere.


1. A SERBIAN FILM

See my review. What more can be said? You would never think that a horror film with such depravity could be good at all. But it is a great film in its own way, and there is nothing more intensely shocking and disturbing.

X. SAILOR MOON R - THE MOVIE

After watching all these messed up movies, you will need something that makes you feel good about life. Something that shows the power of kindness and friendship. Plus you will need epic anime battles to make it awesome. So watch this movie. BUT FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, don't watch the American version. It's for whiny little losers. JAPANESE ORIGINAL ONLY.

BOOK REVIEW: The Stone Angel, by Margaret Laurence

"The most unbelievably awful book ever written -- THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"

Poor Canadian kids in the PRISONS otherwise known as ALBERTA PUBLIC SCHOOLS. They are forced to read this book. Pardon my language, but giving the title of "shittiest fucking book ever" to The Stone Angel is not a stretch. I have read some truly bad novels in my time, but The Stone Angel is simply horrifying. Never has there been a more repulsive protagonist than Hagar, a neurotic, arrogant, despicable old woman. The book is told in a series of intermittent flashbacks that seem pointless in conjunction with Hagar's current situation (which is that her family wants to put her in a nursing home). Hell, she is so miserable and and disgusting that instead of a nursing home, they should put her in a barn.

At first I was mildly interested by the florid writing style, but the book soon made me numb (it actually caused me physical pain). The reason for this is that the Hagar of The Stone Angel's story is the most repulsive fictional creation I've ever beheld. Hagar's bloated idiocy renders her ineffably repellent after just a few chapters. Vivid descriptions of her rotting bowels spewing putrid gas is just nasty. Yet most chapters put forth considerable description of her nasty flatulence. Yuck. Being 90 years old, her thoughts and dialogue are completely separated from reason, destroying any interest a person could have in the progress of the story. Her flashbacks further reinforce her overweening nature. There are no flashbacks of when she was a nice young lady -- she was miserable and arrogant always. I suppose this book has merit if you wish to enter the mind of a 90-year old arrogant woman whose logical faculties have been shattered, but who really wants to read about that? I mean, subject is not inherently uninteresting, but this character is just gross. Sure it's realistic (for which some reviews have credited it), but why on earth does anyone care about a cantankerous old hag with bowel problems? Talk about the ultimate anti-hero!

By the end of the novel, Hagar recognizes that she is a loathsome human being and attempts to reconcile that fact with herself. However, all throughout the book, there is no indication that this realization is flowering. All of a sudden, it just occurs spontaneously. Such a hackneyed literary attempt at character revelation. This is both incredibly unrealistic and incredibly disappointing for a reader who has put up with the dross of this novel for 250 pages (give or take). Apparently Laurence realized that her character was beyond hope so she endeavored to hammer in an epiphany that could justify her tedious banter that protracted the horrible, horrible book.

Some will surely argue that the book deserves stars for style and canny art sensibility. I disagree. Stylistic merit is only a virtue when anchored by a story and characters that don't sicken the person reading the book. This book belongs in the garbage and all remaining copies should be rounded up and destroyed. This book proves the necessity of abolishing public schools. The damage done to children's minds by forcing them to read about a farting old hag is just too great to ignore.

MUSIC REVIEW: Rush - A Farewell to Kings

"Add this to a list of 'Rush's Best.'"


While 2112 was the first Rush song I ever heard, A Farewell To Kings was the first Rush album I owned (the store didn't have 2112 at the time). Sentimentally, it's a favorite because it was among my first progressive rock albums, but beyond the gushiness I still love this album because it's great music.

For a band that critics hated, Rush had quite a following at this point, picking up numerous fans who'd been dazzled by the band's stunning musicianship, philosophical reflection typically disguised as fantasy/sci-fi stories (but not always...sometimes it was just a story), and the fact that they freakin' rocked. A Farewell To Kings produced one of the band's most popular songs, "Closer to the Heart," which continues to receive the attention of classic rock radio stations all over the place. I don't use superlatives too much, but I must say that this is the best rock song under three minutes EVER. The socially conscious title track squeezes a lot of "progression" into a 5 minute song. The highlights of this album are the mesmerizing epic "Xanadu" and the rockin' space adventure known as "Cygnus X-1, Book I." Even though the latter is best appreciated as a precursor to the phenomenal "Hemispheres," it's a great song even on its own. The first movement is ominous, the second is catchy and exciting, and the third is an insane rhythmic assault underscoring Lee's screaming vocals.

Finally, like most of Rush's work, this really doesn't sound dated at all, despite being released in the late 70s. Timeless music is great music!

Critics are retarded. Rush rules. Or something. But I'm pretty sure I'm right.